Half-Moon, The Beach and our final days in Paradise

And so, we have reached our final few days in Thailand. I can't help but feel that these blogs are getting a bit repetitive, but as we are drawing to a close, it feels only right that I should carry on and tell you of all our exciting adventures.

We are currently on the island of Kho Phi Phi, suitably dubbed one of the worlds most beautiful islands, after visiting the sadly, less than beautiful island of Kho Pang Nang. Kho Pang Nang is literally the weirdest place we have ever been to. It is basically an island on a massive hangover. From what we could gather, it is dead all of the time that it is NOT full moon, i.e. 28 days of the month. Whilst Rebecca was suffering in bed with illness, I decided I wasn't going to miss out on what everyone says is 'the best night everrrrrrrrrrrrr' so attached myself to an unsuspecting English couple staying in our hostel, and managed to persuade them to come out to Half-Moon with me. Basically, one massive UV paint fulled rave in the middle of the jungle. It was AWESOME. Now, dub-step, trance and techno is really not my bag, but it was honestly, such a fun night. We doused ourselves in the obligatory UV paint, grabbed ourselves a bucket of Samgsong (Thai whiskey, Red Bull and vodka. Eugh) and danced into the wee hours of the morning. Getting in at 4:30 am to get up for our ferry at 5:30 was no mean feet (?) let me tell you! However, I like to maintain that I was remarkably perky for the 11 hour boat, bus and boat again journey that took us to Paradise Lost back to Paradise Found again.

So here we are in Kho Pang Nang, and we have decided to stay in the slightly more secluded area, only accessible by rather dodgy looking 'longboats' which seem to have a knackered old car motor strapped to the back of an old wooden fishing boat which spits out an alarming amount of black petrol fuel. It is cheap though. And after one too many Thai massages, funds are getting pretty low. 

Kho Phi Phi is perhaps most famous for it's amazing Maya Beach - where the Alex Garland set his novel 'The Beach', and where Leonardo Di Caprio was filmed looking rather gorgeous in not much but board-shorts and a very tan body....mmm....ANYWAY, yes, we decided that no trip to Thailand would be complete without visiting said beach. Apparently, so did the other 50,000 tourists in Kho Phi Phi. Regardless, we did manage to take many cheesy photos of us dancing around on the beach in nothing but our bikinis - thank God we had a few decent days tanning in before hand, like I said, brown flab is better than white!

I can't believe its been 5 weeks, but here we are in our final five days, meaning I have 15 days until Australia which is terrifying, yet very exciting. To be honest, I am really rather looking forward to some home cooked food, that is not fried to oblivion, and I would dearly like to be mosquito bite free just so that I can stop itching myself to death. But if that's all I have to complain about, life is pretty sweet right now and with Australia just around the corner, its only going to get better :-) xxxxx

Ko Tao - scuba diving, lady-boys and beautiful beaches!

Ok,  the title pretty much sums up this blog post but hey ho, I shall rant to you lovely readers (i.e my mother and Katherine) about the wonders that this beautiful island has to offer.

After another overnight train journey (not quite as nice as my first - which was basically like the Hogwart's Express Thai style) but still pretty nice - bunk beds with our own privacy curtain to hide from the creepy train conductor with the longest thumb nail I have ever seen in my life, we have arrived safe and sound in PARADISE. Literally amazing. White, sandy beaches, crystal clear, blue waters, palm trees... what more could one ask for except perhaps a banging bikini body to go with it. Yes, everyone here is totally beautiful and skinny and after the coupious amounts of Paht Thai I have been eating, I am more of beached whale than beach babe.

Nevertheless, as our Greenwood family motto goes, 'brown flab is better than white!' so I have been working on browning those thunder-thighs and strutting my stuff, oxygen tank an' all off the side of a slightly suspect looking old fishing boat to participate in the awesomeness that is SCUBA DIVING. Honestly, the most amazing thing ever. On the list of faverouite things we have done so far, diving is definatley up there with, yes, the cookery course. Still drooling over the Panang Curry and Papya Salad... I shall never achieve wanten bikini bod..

Anyway, we are staying in Ko Tao for a few more nights then hopping off again to Ko Pang Nang for the legendary half-moon party. Ok, so its actually Full Moon that is legendary, but I've heard that half moon is pretty good too. I am sure it will be inappropriate Brits abroad wealding their vodka buckets and falling out of the party into the dodgy looking Tattoo palour which always seems to be open, and always on the side of a bar. There is even one tattoo palour which has strobe lights in Ko Tao. So far I have not been tempted. The amount of div's wandering around with cling film protecting stupid tattoos such as Thai script that probably reads 'I am a massive douche' rather than 'peace and love' has put me firmly in the 'no' catagory.

I can't belive we have been here for over a month and still there is so much I want to do! Sad to be coming home so soon, but then again, I am only back for 10 days before I jet off to Australia. It's a hard life, but someone's gotta do it!

Anyway, peace and love dear readers. Let's see what other adventures we can get up to in the 2 weeks that we have left here! xxxx

OH I NEARLY FORGOT! We went to the most amazing Caberet show of lady boys. Truely the most bizzare yet hilarious expeirence ever. About 15 spectacularly made-up lady-boys strutting their stuff to Abba, Beyonce, Shakira... amazing. Obviously, needed a Singah beer or two before one could muster up the courage to go but it's got to be done but 'Marisha's version of 'I am what I am' was truely a sight to behold!

Monsoons, mudslides and hitch-hiking: all in a day's work in Laos!

And so, fellow readers, we are facing our last day in Laos. As much as I have enjoyed experiencing their culinary delights (Lap, a Laotian delicacy of dry mince with liberal amounts of lemongrass, suspect looking fish from the dark-brown waters of the Mekong anyone? No, us neither), temples, monsoons and horrific bus journeys I still cannot bring myself to think about, it is time to sum up the delightful, and not so delightful attractions Laos has to offer.

Considering Lao has only opened up its boarders within the past 10 years or so, it is actually a very interesting country to visit. However, the massive lack of infrastructure, working buses and hospitality has left me yearning for the distinctly more western-friendly Thailand. Yes, I am a disgraceful western tourist who actually delights in buses leaving on time, currency that is not absolutely mind-boggling (still not sure, but I think 13,000 kip = 1GBP) food that does not make me retch just thinking about it and the rather disgusting, but widely adopted habit of every Laotian man, woman and child to spit at every given opportunity. Ok, so I am writing this in a particularly unforgiving mood, mainly because there is literally NOTHING to do in Lao's capital, Vientiane. We went to the national museum which consists of, in the words of the trusty Lonely Planet, "enough historical weaponry to arm all the extras in a Rambo film" and a few eye opening photos of the revolution in Laos and a cabinet of past their sell-by date pharmaceuticals of which I am still trying to fathom their relevance.

However, the past two weeks have provided us with much hilarious entertainment. From tubing in Vang Vienne to our bus getting stuck at a 45degree angle in a ditch midst-mudslide, leaving us to spend 5 hours flagging down every bus that went past in the heaviest monsoon EVER,  we have had many exciting adventures.

Personally, my favorite few days has been the hilarity of Vang Vienne. Words just cannot do it justice, but lets just say, it a gap year student's paradise and a definite right of passage for anyone escaping the reality of unemployment, student debt and moving back in with the parents. In the middle of nowhere, is this little town full of bars which blast out either Family Guy or Friends, provide you with a 'happy menu' (ranging from a joint of weed to an opium milkshake) alongside the regular menu, and send you down the Nam Song river on a rubber tube whilst force-feeding you liters of whiskey. Tubing is basically where they give you a rubber tube, send you down the river and bars on river-bank throw ropes out to reel you in for you to buy buckets (yes, buckets) of vodka and flat Sprite. Oh, and they neglect to tell you how you are to get home when it is vastly approaching darkness and you have no idea where the hell you are. It is nothing short of a miracle that only one person a year dies from this somewhat dodgy form of entertainment.

Now, I am not one to judge another for their less than sanitary antics, but publicly brawling about a pair of denim shorts, resulting in one girl stripping off down to her thong and stomping home is perhaps not what Lao tourist agencies would use to advertise Vang Veinne. These people are hardcore. Tubing in a sling? Sure! Indulging in a magic mushroom pizza post-tube? Why not? It seems that if you want to fit in in Vang Vienne, one must choose to wear a t-shirt or shorts, never both. I had never felt so overdressed in my life. I was wearing a vest top and hot pants.

We did, however, have an awesome time. It felt like fresher's week all over again. And yes, I did feel really rather too old for it all. However, this is my gap year and I am revelling in my youth. Or perhaps just clinging on desperately, refusing to ignore the reality that I am soon to turn 22, and have no idea what the hell I want to do with my life other than escape impending responsibilities of paying rent, finding a job and eventually this mortgage thing, for just about as long as is deemed socially acceptable.

Oh, and its less than a month until I move to Melbourne. I shall ignore this terrifying reality by spending the next 24 hours travelling on my very first sleeper train to the beautiful islands of southern Thailand. Ko Tao I am coming to get you! xxxxx

How to pick your perfect travelling partner

And so, as we face another day in lovely Luang Prabang, I am seeking shelter from yet another monsoon in a mercefully air conditioned internet cafe. Not that I am complaining about the rain, we were very well prepared for days of crazy downpour and wading through streets-turned-rivers. However, there are only so many foot massages one can take to pass the time. So, I have decided to dedicate my latest blog entry on the musings of travel companions.

Know your onion Now, anyone who knows both Rebecca and I would be forgiven for thinking "Kuels and Georgina? Thailand? Together? OH DEAR" Yes, yes we are known for our bickering, but this leads me on to my first must of a travelling companion -  know what it is that you are dealing with. Rebecca and I both have our habits, and our warning signs. For me, I get grumpy when I haven't eaten. For her, she gets grumpy when she's tired. I know that I should never get on a bus without some sort of snack readily avaiable, or hell may in fact, break loose. Especially when pent up over a number of hours for fear of upsetting the other. Which leads us onto point two:

Don't be a doormat. As I am slowly learning, there is no point in pussy-footing around your partner for fear of annoying them. Not only will the resentment build up like a rather precarious volcano, errupting at the worst possible moment, (in this case, in a rather  wonderfully airconditioned cafe where they do the BEST mint-lemon frappes, which we can now never return to) but there is also a risk that you will miss out on the thing that you really want to do, for the sake of making your companion happy. OK, so this may be my problem more than most, as I am an eternal people-pleaser, but as Rebecca firmly, but fairly told me last night after another of my little tantrums, I should be more selfish and do what I want to do, rather than what I think I should do. Perhaps this is why I enjoyed my cookery course so much; even though Rebecca was ill in bed, I still went out and enjoyed myself because its what I wanted to do. Plus, it was food. And everyone knows how much I love food.

Don't be naive: you will argue Although we haven't as much as you might think! (No really!) Neither of us have yet (touch-wood) abandoned the other in a state of fury or fustration. Admittedly, we have come close, but believe it or not, we are still on speaking terms, and I am happy to report that we are getting on better I expected. Yes, it is tough being together 24/7, but it's ok to say "I'm going to go for a quick nap" when you might mean, "SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE". Likewise, its ok to sit in silence with each other. Perhaps that's the most important rule of choosing the perfect travelling partner: to be comfortable in each other's company in silence. 

I started thinking about this list whilst casually sailing down the Mekong River after visiting the rather exciting Pak Ou Caves (yes Dad, I went to see a cave. By choice) which is basically a cave full of Buddah statues from all over the world, collected over hundreds of years, of different shapes, colours and materials. Neon pink plastic included. Anyway, I realised that you can't really know if you are going to get along until you take the pluge.  We may have been close friends for three years, travelled to Sri Lanka as part of a team for 2 months and lived together for a year with many ups and downs along the way  but I still didn't really know what to expect when we decided to embark on this 'gap yar' traveller's pradise. 

They say travelling can either make or break a relationship. We'll see shall we? ;-)

xxxx

The lovely land of Laos!

And so, dear readers, we have made it to Laos. Still a bit uncertain if it is pronounced Lao or Laos. I'm going to go with Lao. Because Laos sounds like a bug,

I'm not entirely sure I have recovered sufficiently to give a full low-down on our terrifying journey from Chang Mai to Luang Probang (where we are currently staying - small French colonial town, very pretty) but it involves 18 hours in a stuffy 'VIP' bus, monsoon rain, getting stuck in the mud with tires digging us in deeper and deeper whilst we look on with terrified faces, me vomiting into a plastic bag which just so happened to have a hole in it.... Lets just say I am scarred for life and will never get a night bus ever again. Fellow travelers, avoid this journey at all costs. I will never be able to eat BBQ flavour crisps ever again.

So anyway, here we are in Laos! So far, it seems a bit like what I imagine Thailand to be before the gap year students took over. Not that I dislike Thailand, I love it, but Laos is far less touched by the negative effects of tourism. Not a Boots, Starbucks or McDonalds in sight! Its strange to think that they have only opened their borders to travelers within the last 10 years or so, and with that in mind, it is actually pretty advanced. Perhaps I am just spoiled by Thailand. To be honest, whilst I was aware that Thailand is a fairly easy country to travel in, I am still surprised that I would feel quite comfortable to walk around completely on my own, something that I would have never of done in Sri Lanka.

Luang Probang has many sights and adventures to offer, from hiring a bike to see waterfalls and caves, to the many temples and streets and streets of silver shops and French Patisseries. Oh, and of course the obligatory massage spas on every street corner.

I have much more to say about my adventures in Pai and my horrific experience of getting an oil massage with a fellow traveler we met along the way, but the internet cafe is closing and I fear a slapdash conclusionary comment will not do it justice. I shall leave you in suspense, but it may just have been the most horrific experience of my life, and I will never be able to look the poor man in the eye ever again.

So long dear friends, keep on following! (even if it is just my Mother reading by this point) xxxx

Food Glorious Food

So I have just completed my very first Thai cookery course, and now the post-food fatiuge has passed, I feel it is only fitting to dedicate my next entry to one of my greatest passions in life: FOOD.
 
Having a limited taste of what Thai food actually involves, other than Padt Thai and Thai Green Curry, I am not ashamed to admit that the main thing I have been looking forward to on my travels is to do a Thai cookery course. Eager to broaden my cooking horizons, one one-two-one 5 hour course, 6 dishes, and a very full stomach later, I was not dissapointed.

I started my day off learning the simple, yet delicious Paht Thai. Since our arrival, Rebecca and I have been on the quest for the perfect said dish. Using a scale of 1-10 we have dedicated ourselves whole-heartedly to this mission! Ahh, the tastebuds are tingling at the very thought. There has to be the perfect ratio of peanut to lime, not too greasy, not too much beansprout...and yes, today I found the perfect one. Made my moi. Ok, ok, under the close consule of a very experienced and knowledgable teacher and yes, it was her recipie not mine, but not the point. My mission is now complete, and now I must branch out into other areas of Thai cuisine.

I am yet to delve into the bemusing, and perhaps not quite authentic dish of deap fried cricket. The fact that the only place I have seen this being served is the tourist hot-spot of Kho San Road has made me somewhat suspicious. However, I am not adverse to trying crickets, so watch this space! Perhaps not the giant cockroach that I accidently trod on last night though...

Wandering around the food markets is a treat for the eyes as well as the tastebuds. The shear variety of colourful and delicious fruits that simply don't exist in England is staggering. I never even knew there were many different varieties of lychee! I was literally cheering when I found that mangosteen, a fruit we ate a lot of in Sri Lanka, is available in abundunce here in Thailand, And then there are the fruits that are only availale at exuberent prices in Waitrose such as the vibrant coloured, yet dissapointinly bland 'dragon fruit' . Makes a pretty picture though (soon to follow). The foodie inside me has died and gone to heaven.

So today I have learnt 6 traditional dishes, Paht Thai, chicken and cashew nut fried rice, hot and sour prawn soup, papaya salad (suprisingly delicious), chicken in coconut milk and banana and coconut soup. A-MAZ-ING. I know everyone goes travelling hoping they will shed the pounds with the numerous illnesses we are likely to pick up on the way, but unfortunatley I think I will be coming home the size of a house. The only dish that I have tried and will never do so again, is spicy fruit salad. Horrific. Whole pickled chillies hidden amongst dragon fruit and mango. Never. Ever. Again.

I am excited to see what spicy, sour and deliciously sweet dish is waiting for me around the corner. And who knows, perhaps I shall be tempted to take another course to tantalise the pallet even more.

I am so happy I think I might just do a little dance. But will have to let my six course lunch digest a bit first...

Don't worry, be happy

Ahhh installment two... perhaps a bit overexcited about the positive response regarding installment one. Thank you readers!

So, after leaving Chaing Mai and the rain behind, we have arrived in the awesomeness that is PAI! (by public bus this time, a third of the price, surprisingly comfortable). The best way to describe Pai is a combination of a very dated Western movie, with a hippie commune. All the bars, houses etc. are made out of wood and I'm half expecting a cowboy in leather chaps to wander out of a bar welding his pistol at me chewing tobacco. Alas, nothing that exciting so far dear readers, just a crazy rasta in dungarees with a very warped version of how to 'woo' someone - the local DJ making eyes at us poor innocent girls by playing 'you sexy thing' (yes, you would have to believe in miracles my dear dungaree man.) and Marvin Gaye's 'sexual healing' Lord save me. Yet another place we can't return to.  Flashbacks to the one and only nightclub in Sri Lanka, Happy Banana... the less said the better

So if any of you are indeed heading to Pai, be prepared to either hire a bike or a moped as everything you would want to see or do is just over walking distance. We opted for the latter (don't worry Mother, helmets were worn at all times!) After a few false starts, involving me managing to lock the ignition closed and unable to open it again due to a broken key, oh the safety of Thai bike hire companies,  resulting in a very kind passer by calling the hire company and expalining our situation in Thai to them over the phone for us, we made it out into the open road.

Mopeds or motorbikes are truely the best way to see the beautiful scenery the north has to offer - rolling hills, huge great trees and the odd elephant along the way, we stopped at a waterfall for a few scenic snaps. That, along with the hippie bars playing good old Bob Marley, I could happily stay for weeks. Indeed, it seems as though many a traveller has arrived and never left the place. Half the population here have dreadlocks, tattoos and yes, hareem pants. I  have to admit, I have delved into this traveller obsession. What a  true 'gap yar tragedy' I am becomming! That along with my tragic tan lines, I've never been happier!

Looking forward to what the rest of Pai has to offer, but for now, a Phat Thai and a G&T is very much in order!

Lots of love dear readers - keep on reading! xxxx

So...how does this thing work?

Right. Hello readers. Are you out there? Hmm... Can't help but feel that this will shortly turn into a Bridget Jones style diary, which no one will actually read. Anyway, I have the arrogance to believe that people WANT to hear about my gap year adventures so here goes!

I am typing this in the amazing city of Chaing Mai, Thailand on the start of my year of deciding what I actually want to do with my life. Those of you who don't know, I am moving out to Melbourne, Australia for a year to work as an au pair for a wonderful sounding family with three children, one on the way (yikes!) Am starting my adventures, as all 'gap yar' twits do, in Thailand.

So, after week one of five, I decided to blog about our adventures in this hot and sweaty country so far. I hope I can help a few people out there who are planning on making the trip themselves, and learn from my mistakes rather than making them their own!

Lesson number 1: always check your visa expiry date.
However, if not, cry a bit at the airport and they may just bump you up to business. Yes, Mum, I didn't quite tell you the truth on this one. You will laugh at my typical 'Groggy moment'. So anyway, we arrived at London Heathrow (yippie!) only to be told at the check in desk that as we did not have proof that we were leaving the country within the required 30 days, there was a chance that we might get deported at Bangkok. OH GOOD GOD. Frantically trying to book train tickets to anywhere, Laos, Cambodia, Timbuktu... to no avail. OK, so we are just going to have to wing it! Both of us were bloody scared and kicking ourselves for being so stupid, arrived at Dubai for our connecting flight only to find we had been upgraded to Business. HURRAH! Couldn't quite believe our luck, and realised that it must have been the poor guy at the check in desk at Heathrow who felt bad for making me cry. SUCCESS! Free Champagne, seats that turn into beds, free stuff... amazing.
Needless to say, arrivals and visa issuing was not a problem, they barely looked at my passport anyway. Can now breath again.

Lesson number two: Do not trust Tourist Information Office (TAT) 
The most common stop off point in Thailand for most Western travellers is Kho San Road. Basically, what I imagine Zante or Falaraki to be like but hotter and busier. Ok, so I've never been to either places but its basically horrible and has a disturbing amount of tattoo studios next to clubs. The more adventurous (or perhaps disgusting) travellers may be enticed into going to a 'ping-pong show' - we however, were not. If you don't know, Google it but I take no responsibility for what you may find.

Anyway, I'm rambling. So we decided to go to the train station to book our tickets to Chaing Mai. Got into a tuk-tuk who took us to a TAT office, where he obviously gets commission because he charged us a fifth of the going rate. We decided this seemed a bit dodge so proceeded to make our own way to the train station. Beware: the TAT offices in there are not official either it is a scam!! They sell you over priced tickets and tell you the train is full, so you have to get a private bus which then takes you to a few more TAT offices picking up other unwitting travellers as ourselves, involving a three hour wait before you get to see the bus.

The bus itself was hilarious. The conductor was the most fantastic lady-boy we have seen so far. Pink miniskirt, matching jacket, clashing lipstick and red painted toe nails who insisted on playing TERRIBLE Thai music on the plasma TV the whole 8 hours. Yes, our bus had a plasma. Insane.

Anyway, we finally arrived in Chaing Mai, have had a fantastic day of elephant rides, jungle trekking, waterfalls and white water rafting. Feeling rather pooped now so will update again soon. Oh and if you are going to go to Chaing Mai, it is worth staying on a Sunday as the night market is fantastic

Much love my little Blog-reading followers :-) xxxxx