And so, fellow readers, we are facing our last day in Laos. As much as I have enjoyed experiencing their culinary delights (Lap, a Laotian delicacy of dry mince with liberal amounts of lemongrass, suspect looking fish from the dark-brown waters of the Mekong anyone? No, us neither), temples, monsoons and horrific bus journeys I still cannot bring myself to think about, it is time to sum up the delightful, and not so delightful attractions Laos has to offer.
Considering Lao has only opened up its boarders within the past 10 years or so, it is actually a very interesting country to visit. However, the massive lack of infrastructure, working buses and hospitality has left me yearning for the distinctly more western-friendly Thailand. Yes, I am a disgraceful western tourist who actually delights in buses leaving on time, currency that is not absolutely mind-boggling (still not sure, but I think 13,000 kip = 1GBP) food that does not make me retch just thinking about it and the rather disgusting, but widely adopted habit of every Laotian man, woman and child to spit at every given opportunity. Ok, so I am writing this in a particularly unforgiving mood, mainly because there is literally NOTHING to do in Lao's capital, Vientiane. We went to the national museum which consists of, in the words of the trusty Lonely Planet, "enough historical weaponry to arm all the extras in a Rambo film" and a few eye opening photos of the revolution in Laos and a cabinet of past their sell-by date pharmaceuticals of which I am still trying to fathom their relevance.
However, the past two weeks have provided us with much hilarious entertainment. From tubing in Vang Vienne to our bus getting stuck at a 45degree angle in a ditch midst-mudslide, leaving us to spend 5 hours flagging down every bus that went past in the heaviest monsoon EVER, we have had many exciting adventures.
Personally, my favorite few days has been the hilarity of Vang Vienne. Words just cannot do it justice, but lets just say, it a gap year student's paradise and a definite right of passage for anyone escaping the reality of unemployment, student debt and moving back in with the parents. In the middle of nowhere, is this little town full of bars which blast out either Family Guy or Friends, provide you with a 'happy menu' (ranging from a joint of weed to an opium milkshake) alongside the regular menu, and send you down the Nam Song river on a rubber tube whilst force-feeding you liters of whiskey. Tubing is basically where they give you a rubber tube, send you down the river and bars on river-bank throw ropes out to reel you in for you to buy buckets (yes, buckets) of vodka and flat Sprite. Oh, and they neglect to tell you how you are to get home when it is vastly approaching darkness and you have no idea where the hell you are. It is nothing short of a miracle that only one person a year dies from this somewhat dodgy form of entertainment.
Now, I am not one to judge another for their less than sanitary antics, but publicly brawling about a pair of denim shorts, resulting in one girl stripping off down to her thong and stomping home is perhaps not what Lao tourist agencies would use to advertise Vang Veinne. These people are hardcore. Tubing in a sling? Sure! Indulging in a magic mushroom pizza post-tube? Why not? It seems that if you want to fit in in Vang Vienne, one must choose to wear a t-shirt or shorts, never both. I had never felt so overdressed in my life. I was wearing a vest top and hot pants.
We did, however, have an awesome time. It felt like fresher's week all over again. And yes, I did feel really rather too old for it all. However, this is my gap year and I am revelling in my youth. Or perhaps just clinging on desperately, refusing to ignore the reality that I am soon to turn 22, and have no idea what the hell I want to do with my life other than escape impending responsibilities of paying rent, finding a job and eventually this mortgage thing, for just about as long as is deemed socially acceptable.
Oh, and its less than a month until I move to Melbourne. I shall ignore this terrifying reality by spending the next 24 hours travelling on my very first sleeper train to the beautiful islands of southern Thailand. Ko Tao I am coming to get you! xxxxx
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